Book excerpt: The definitive guide to high-class trailer park living. White Trash Etiquette contains everything you need to know to live like decent trash, including: The proper way to fake a back injury How to prevent your in-laws from stealing the silverware at wedding receptions The 10 Hottest White Trash Career Opportunities How to improve your drunk driving skills Sound advice on everything from lying to your boss to making your next convenience store robbery fun for the whole family There’s also troubleshooting for troublemakers: I'm getting married; can I still wear white if I'm a tramp? Can chicks ever really respect an accountant? How do I pick a good bail bondsman? How can I get my 14-year-old cousin unpregnant? And much more.